“I’m Sorry” is Worth a Million Words

Last week, I was cleaning some equipment that I had rented for my recent rafting trip.  The equipment details are not important but let it be said that when in the desert you cannot simply “do your business” wherever you like… you must pack it out, which is where the equipment comes in.   After unloading too-much-gear, I discovered that I was missing something.   A small, 1 x 2” piece of clear plastic had been inadvertently left out of my rental, and I really needed this piece.  Like REALLY.  A phone call confirmed that the rental department found the piece I needed, and I reloaded everything and drove over there.  Now the employees were polite and all, and handed me the piece with a smile.  But as I walked out of the shop I realized that neither of them had offered an apology.  Not while I was on the phone, not when they handed me the piece of plastic that stood in the way of me getting my security deposit back, not at all.

It bothered me.

It really bothered me.

And then, it made me really, really angry.

In the midst of my fuming and cleaning, muttering to myself about entitled immature college kids, I did start to wonder why on earth I was so mad.  I mean really, it wasn’t that big of a deal.  It was an innocent oversight and surely not even their fault.  But for some reason, those seven letters and some grammatically appropriate punctuation felt like a lifeline to sanity that I was denied.  I was hot, I was tired, I was literally and figuratively having a crappy day.

What did I think that apology would do?  Surely for becoming so ticked off about not getting it, there must be some type of magical powers involved.  As I reflected on this throughout the evening I shared the admittedly ridiculous story with friends.  “That’s totally insane!”  they said, “those employees should have been groveling at your feet with apologies!”  And everyone agreed that my afternoon was unpleasant and they were so glad that they weren’t in my shoes.

I felt SOOOOOOO much better!

I felt like they understood me!  Like they felt my frustration, sweat, and (almost) tears.  Like I wasn’t overreacting or being a crybaby, and in fact had handled myself with some semblance of grace.  I felt validated.

Ohhhh.  That’s the thing.

Why did those seven letters carry so much weight for me?  Because they offered me validation!  Understanding and empathy for how I was feeling and what I was experiencing.  They would’ve let me know that even though it wasn’t their fault, those employees felt badly about what I was going through.  It seems so simple to say “I’m sorry”.  And in fact, we probably throw those words around too often.  “I’m sorry I borrowed your headphones without asking”; “I’m sorry my paperwork’s late again”; “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off when you were talking ”.  But how often in addition to admittance of wrongdoing does “I’m sorry” mean more?  Two words that don’t just say “yeah, I shouldn’t have done that”, but also “I know I made things harder for you, and I wish I could undo it”, and even “I feel badly that you are feeling badly”.  Seven little letters and some grammatically appropriate punctuation can say so, so much.

Sarah Hazelton, LCSW

Life on the River

A few blog posts back I admitted that my strong reliance on February and March snow storms finally betrayed me and left much of the western U.S. with the worst snowfall accumulations on record. Two months later, Utah is currently on pace to have the third wettest May on record. Between relentless rainfall and absurd snow accumulations at high elevations we have seen our rivers and reservoirs swell to almost-normal rates. So what’s up with this weird weather? I wish I could tell you, but what I do know is that it has ensured our late-spring and summer plans on the water are still intact.

The first item on the river-agenda is a six-week fly fishing course that will take a handful of our students and give them the opportunity to learn the art, the difficult art, of river fly fishing. With several rivers draining out of the nearby mountains we will be able to fish different waters with different characteristics each and every week. This course starts at the beginning with personalized instruction on gear, casting and knot techniques, safe river wading procedures and hopefully, and unfortunately, not guaranteed, the joy of landing a fish on a crystal-clear river on a dry fly. It is seriously hard to top that.

Right in middle of all this fishing is our five day canoe trip down Stillwater Canyon on the Green River. Stillwater Canyon runs 52 miles through the heart of Canyonlands National Park and ends at the confluence of the Green River and Colorado River at Spanish Bottoms. River trips are hard to put into words if you’ve never done it, but I can honestly say it tops landing a fish on a crystal-clear river on a dry fly.

The month of July is full of white water rafting on the famous Snake River outside Jackson, Wyoming. With multiple trips running each week and all of our students being invited to participate this is one of the most fun months of our year. Hey-O river!

Mike Bodrero, Adventure Learning Coordinator