To Worry or Not to Worry . . . That Is the Question

Many of us worry. Worrying is a common trait that many have. We worry about our kids, our responsibilities, our bodies, our relationships, our to-do list, our house, our finances, and the list could go on and on.

Is worrying productive and/or helpful or is it the sign of a major problem? We will explore that question in this blog post!

I grew up with four older brothers and one younger sister. A couple of my older brothers enjoyed teasing me and pushing my buttons. They did things such as call me names that rhymed with “Matt” or put me in a sleeping bag and not let me out. I was not one to just suffer in silence. Therefore, my mother had to be involved often during those years to make sure I wasn’t tied up or hanging from the garage rafters. My mother was and is a worrier. She is a wonderful mother and I love her very much. However, she has spent a lot of energy worrying over the years.

This blog post is a chance for me to share my personal thoughts on worrying. This is not a scientific point of view, rather my point of view.

I believe that worrying has its place in life. A minor to moderate amount of worrying can help us get things done. Individuals who are too laid back and don’t worry, may not be as productive and may not be good at following through. Some worry helps move people to action and to get things done.

I have found in life that some worry so much that it really gets in the way of life satisfaction. Excessive worry can cause health problems. One can experience tightness in the chest, increased blood pressure, and stomach pain. Worrying can truly cause one to feel miserable.

The goal is the find the right balance of course. If worrying makes you miserable or has a negative effect in your life, consider a few of these ideas:

• Learn to identify your thoughts and write them down if necessary. This gives you a chance to analyze your thought patterns. This way you can take a more objective look at your thoughts and see if they are really worth worrying about. You can ask yourself questions such as, “Will this matter tomorrow?” or “Does this really affect me?”
• Once you notice and have a good handle on your own thought patterns, you can do something about it. Irrational thoughts often are at the core of excessive worrying. One may have a lot of “What if….?” thoughts. Thought challenging is a skill one can use to challenge irrational thought patterns. We can look at our old track record of success which also helps to diminish worry. We can ask ourselves, “What is the worst thing that could happen if …..?” Replacing irrational thoughts with more rational thoughts will help one to feel more at ease and less worried.
• Learn to breathe deeply and effectively. Breathing deeply and slowly can slow down the heart rate and the emotions and can give our pre-frontal cortex time to rationally think things through. This process allows the brain to calm itself. This process allows one’s brain to shift from an emotional place to a more intellectual place which can lead to better decision-making and more inner peace.
• Cut yourself some slack. Oftentimes we are our worst enemies. We judge ourselves for things that others don’t even consider. We can develop critical automatic thoughts about body image, work performance, or over our relationships. Sometimes it’s helpful to remind ourselves of what is really true instead of what we FEEL is true.
• Exercise. Find an exercise program that you enjoy. Mine is simple. I walk for about 45-60 minutes every morning and do some push-ups a few times a week. It’s not very rigorous but it helps tremendously both physically and emotionally. Find something that you enjoy that you can stick with long-term. Exercise gives us a chance to clear our minds.

I want everyone to know that excessive worrying is typically not something you have to live with forever. You can do things that help. As the New Year commences, I hope those of us who worry too much can worry less!

Matt Erickson, LCSW