I’ve been reading a book lately by Fumio Sasaki called
Goodbye, Things. In the book the author discusses how he used to be
constantly stressed and was struggling with always comparing himself to other
people. As the book progresses the author talks about how he overcame much of
that through taking a hard look at the quality of his relationships and where
his priorities were. He realized that he was addicted to his phone, was consumed
by buying new things, and was not spending quality time with those in his life.
By simplifying his life through spending less time on electronics, having less
of a focus on purchasing the “latest and greatest” thing and through putting
more of his energy into having meaningful interactions with people, the author
felt that he has found more genuine happiness in his life.
While reading that book I started to think about how some of
these principles apply directly with what we are doing with the adolescents at
LRA. They are being put into an environment that limits their access to things
that could be causing them to be comparing themselves to others or causing them
unhealthy stress. The kids no longer have access to phones or social media while
they are here. Some of the teens have to relearn how to have real face to face
communication with their friends instead of just having friendships online.
Social media is a means by which adolescents have been seen to compare their
lives to the lives of others. During their time at LRA they do not have that
distraction and instead have to focus on their own lives and what direction they
are headed. Social media, cell phones, and other things of that nature are now
a normal part of life in our society. We don’t expect that the teens at LRA will
never again use those things again when they leave here - that would be
unrealistic. However, while they are here we try to educate them on how harmful
those things can be if they are not used in moderation and how much more they
can get out of their relationships with people if they give people more real
attention. Often the teens I work with have told me that they enjoy not being
connected constantly to electronics and that they feel better when they are able
to focus more on what really matters to them and what they are working towards.
I have sometimes found myself being almost envious of how the
teens here are in a situation where they don’t have electronics and have fewer
things to distract them from more meaningful things in life. However, I realized
that the teens at LRA look to us, their therapists, staff, and parents, as
role-models and that my constant connection to distractions in my life or
comparing myself to others is actually by my own doing. I think in order to be
positive and healthy role models for them we should take a look at our own lives
and see where we need to work on these issues. Are we constantly comparing
ourselves to others? Are we ourselves addicted to our phones, electronics, or
social media? Do we need to simplify our lives to refocus our priorities on
meaningful relationships and activities? I definitely do and so this spring I’m
going to do a little “spring cleaning” and figure out where I can simplify
things in my life so that I can be less distracted and more purposeful with my
time and refocus my priorities. I encourage you to do the same!
Kristjana Green, LCSW
