The Basic Principle
of RESPECT
Each individual has their own experience in life. As we go about our lives, it is key to
connect with others and strive to do the best we can in order to achieve the
goals that we have. The decisions we
make and the things that we do affect those around us. When we work to build relationships the
principle of respect comes into play. As
I have counseled individuals, couples, and families over the years, this
principle of respect is commonly struggled with when things are going poorly in
relationships. It is often important to
bring this to light and have the simple discussion of what respect is. I like to talk about respect by sharing my
experience of teaching Martial Arts to kids.
I have always found that basic principles such as respect can be
incorporated and reinforced with the Martial Arts. I remember teaching classes of children and
simply putting the definition of respect as “treating others they way they want
to be treated.” As we look at
individuals we recognize that they are all different and don’t like to be
treated the same.
People also don’t always want to be treated the way we would
want to be treated. Therefore, we would
treat them the way that they would want to be treated. This might take a little work to get to
openly communicate and get to know another person in order to see what respect
means to them. I would often ask the
students if they liked being treated good or bad. Of course the answer was that they liked to
be treated good. I would tell them that
most people are similar in that they want to be treated good also. However there may be some small things that a
person sees as respectful that are simple for another to say or do to fulfill
this need. We can also reinforce respect
as an individual does those things that we like or that are good for us. Again this goes back to basic communication
and remembering that others can’t read our minds. It is important for us to let others know
what we do or don’t appreciate.
And of course it is essential to remember that it is
important to give respect in order to be respected. A lot of individuals that I have worked with
think opposite and demand to be respected, even though they are not being respectful
to others. Over the years as I have
build relationships with people in different settings, I have applied this
principle of showing respect. Without
fail when both people involved want to enhance the relationship, this method
works.
Here are some guidelines that will increase respect for
others.
I want to end this with a few great quotes about respect:
Jeffrey Openshaw LMFT
