The Basic Principle of RESPECT

The Basic Principle of RESPECT

Each individual has their own experience in life.  As we go about our lives, it is key to connect with others and strive to do the best we can in order to achieve the goals that we have.  The decisions we make and the things that we do affect those around us.  When we work to build relationships the principle of respect comes into play.  As I have counseled individuals, couples, and families over the years, this principle of respect is commonly struggled with when things are going poorly in relationships.  It is often important to bring this to light and have the simple discussion of what respect is.  I like to talk about respect by sharing my experience of teaching Martial Arts to kids.  I have always found that basic principles such as respect can be incorporated and reinforced with the Martial Arts.  I remember teaching classes of children and simply putting the definition of respect as “treating others they way they want to be treated.”  As we look at individuals we recognize that they are all different and don’t like to be treated the same.  

People also don’t always want to be treated the way we would want to be treated.  Therefore, we would treat them the way that they would want to be treated.  This might take a little work to get to openly communicate and get to know another person in order to see what respect means to them.  I would often ask the students if they liked being treated good or bad.  Of course the answer was that they liked to be treated good.  I would tell them that most people are similar in that they want to be treated good also.  However there may be some small things that a person sees as respectful that are simple for another to say or do to fulfill this need.  We can also reinforce respect as an individual does those things that we like or that are good for us.  Again this goes back to basic communication and remembering that others can’t read our minds.  It is important for us to let others know what we do or don’t appreciate.

And of course it is essential to remember that it is important to give respect in order to be respected.  A lot of individuals that I have worked with think opposite and demand to be respected, even though they are not being respectful to others.  Over the years as I have build relationships with people in different settings, I have applied this principle of showing respect.  Without fail when both people involved want to enhance the relationship, this method works. 

Here are some guidelines that will increase respect for others.

I want to end this with a few great quotes about respect:

                  

Jeffrey Openshaw LMFT