Potemkin Villages

During the late 1700’s in Russia, Empress Catherine II journeyed along the Dnieper River on her way to Crimea. As she traveled through it is believed that one Grigory Potemkin would erect fake and portable settlements along the banks of the river so as to impress the Empress as she would pass by. Supposedly this method worked and caused the Empress to believe that these villages were in much better shape than they actually were.

I find this story to be fascinating and find parallels to our society and to us as human beings. How often do we attempt to disguise our true intentions or pretend to be different than we really are? How often do we try to impress others by boasting, how we dress, or what car we drive? I think we all can relate with the concept of creating Potemkin Villages in our own lives.

I have a theory that the more congruent and authentic our lives are, the happier we will be. I like to study happiness. I like to ask happy people why they are happy. I find the subject fascinating. I find that one trait of most happy people I have met is they tend to be congruent individuals. What you see is what you get. They are the same person behind closed doors as they are in public. They do not try to deceive or present as they are not in order to get any perceived gain.

I believe that congruent and authentic people are confident people. They feel no need to artificially impress anyone. They are confident that their true self is adequate and acceptable. They are confident that they will achieve and succeed based on their true, authentic selves.

I have now had the privilege of doing therapy sessions with adolescents for nearly 20 years. Over that span, I have come across many personalities. I have found that adolescents who continually stretch the truth or sell out in order to get perceived acceptance, are generally pretty unhappy kids. My hope is that as adult role models, we can show our young people the benefits of being genuine and authentic. Young people are perceptive and notice how we act in public versus how we act in private. My hope is that we can strive to make our public and private self match fairly closely. I think most of us share in the goal to have positive relationships and be happy. This is truly one way to make this happen!


Matt Erickson, LCSW, Clinical Director

The Importance of Healthy Boundaries

One of the things we focus on with the adolescents at Logan River is developing healthy boundaries with others. Many of them struggle with saying “no” to negative influences and peer pressure and with maintaining positive friendships. Having healthy boundaries is important in any relationship, whether that is between a parent and child, friends, or coworkers. Setting a boundary means communicating to another person what is good for you and what is not good for you. This can be hard as it requires being assertive and expressing your needs.

Parents may often find this difficult to do with their children. It can feel uncomfortable to say “no” to something that your child asks for and oftentimes guilt follows. This can also be met with strong emotions from your child and may seem like you are damaging the relationship instead of caring for it. However, the interesting thing with having clear boundaries with your child is that oftentimes it will help your child feel safe in the relationship and it sets an example for them of how they can set boundaries and be assertive with others.

Setting boundaries takes practice and if that has not been something happening often between you and your child it can feel unnatural. It is important to remember though that establishing healthy boundaries with others is the key to successful and fulfilling relationships. The following video clips offer more insight and ideas for setting healthy boundaries with others.

Clip 1

Clip 2

Kristjana Green, CSW

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Depending on where you live, winter may be almost over (if it came in the first place).  If you live anywhere near me, you may have another couple of months to go.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can have impacts on people at various times through the fall and winter.  Here are a few tips from Psychology Today to help with SAD.  

Treatment for SAD

You may be able to treat mild symptoms of SAD yourself:

·    Bright sunlight—especially in the morning—and outdoor activity can help boost your mood. Going for a walk before work or during your lunch break may help alleviate some of the problem.
 

·    Find some enjoyable wintertime activities. Participating in outdoor activities like snowshoeing or cross-country skiing can reduce negative feelings about the winter months.
 

·    Bright light therapy is another effective option. A specially-designed light box can simulate sunshine and regulate your body's internal clock. Similar to a bright spring day, daily exposure to the bright light may be able to prevent the body from producing too much melatonin.
 

·    Cognitive behavior therapy and medication may also be effective in reducing symptoms. These therapies may be used in combination, or combined with bright light therapy.

See the full article from Psychology Today HERE

Sean Maynard, CMHC

Seeking Genuine Happiness

Some of the most discouraging moments I’ve had as a parent have come as I’ve watched one of my children go through a stretch of life where they just seem genuinely unhappy.  I’ve often felt helpless in those situations to do much to improve their mood short of buying them a pony or giving them an unlimited supply of candy, which is not only unrealistic, but is also not going to change their long term sense of true happiness anyways!  Fortunately, there are some skills that we can teach our children that will actually affect their level of happiness.  Thousands upon thousands of studies have been done on happiness and what things contribute to a true sense of happiness in one’s life.  The following article contains information from one of these studies in which 12 behaviors/skills were identified that happy people do differently than unhappy people.  These are things that we can actually teach our children or ourselves if need be!  They are principles that when worked on and applied in our lives, will  lead to a truer sense of day-to-day happiness.

Click Here to View the Article

Mont Criddle, LMFT

Let It Snow!

Looking back at the blog post I wrote almost exactly one year ago I am intrigued by the vast difference in snow conditions we are enjoying now compared to this time last year. We have had an incredibly productive snow season the past couple months and conditions couldn’t be much better to be riding the slopes. 

Last year we had very little snow and took the opportunity to explore other winter recreation pursuits. This year it seems like we have a snow storm at least every two or three days! This has given many of us (well, the students, myself and a few other winter-loving team members) much to celebrate and an enthusiasm to ride our skis and snowboards as often as possible. 

It has been a fantastic year with many more students than usual learning to ride the slopes and several more progressing their skills they brought with them to Logan River Academy. We are crossing our fingers that February will bring with it many more powder days for us to enjoy.

Mike Bodrero, Adventure Learning Coordinator 

The Basic Principle of RESPECT

Each individual is has their own experience in life.  As we go about our lives, it is key to connect with others and strive to do the best we can in order to achieve the goals that we have.  The decisions we make and the things that we do affect those around us.  When we work to build relationships the principle of respect comes into play.  As I have counseled individuals, couples, and families over the years, this principle of respect is commonly struggled with when things are going poorly in relationships.  It is often important to bring this to light and have the simple discussion of what respect is.  I like to talk about respect by sharing my experience of teaching Martial Arts to kids.  I have always found that basic principles such as respect can be incorporated and reinforced with the Martial Arts.  I remember teaching classes of children and simply putting the definition of respect as “treating others they way they want to be treated.”  As we look at individuals we recognize that they are all different and don’t like to be treated the same. 

People also don’t always want to be treated the way we would want to be treated.  Therefore, we would treat them the way that they would want to be treated.  This might take a little work to get to openly communicate and get to know another person in order to see what respect means to them.  I would often ask the students if they liked being treated good or bad.  Of course the answer was that they liked to be treated good.  I would tell them that most people are similar in that they want to be treated good also.  However there may be some small things that a person sees as respectful that are simple for another to say or do to fulfill this need.  We can also reinforce respect as an individual does those things that we like or that are good for us.  Again this goes back to basic communication and remembering that others can’t read our minds.  It is important for us to let others know what we do or don’t appreciate.

And of course it is essential to remember that it is important to give respect in order to be respected.  A lot of individuals that I have worked with think opposite and demand to be respected, even though they are not being respectful to others.  Over the years as I have built relationships with people in different settings, I have applied this principle of showing respect.  Without fail when both people involved want to enhance the relationship, this method works. 

Here are some guidelines that will increase respect for others.

I want to end this with a few great quotes about respect:

                  

Jeffrey Openshaw, LMFT

'Twas I, but 'Tis Not I

With the New Year now in full swing, I find myself often talking with clients about resolutions and commitments they are making to themselves and others as they strive to change and make their lives better. 

As I work with them, and with myself, on making these improvements I find myself reminded of the following story.

It comes from a play by Shakespeare.  While I don’t typically read a lot of Shakespeare (frankly he is a bit over my head) I nevertheless have garnered many great quotes from his works.  One of my favorites comes from the play “As You Like It.”  In the play an older brother named Oliver “frequently contrived to kill” his younger brother but to no avail.  Despite his efforts to kill his younger brother, later in his own life in a desperate situation, Oliver was rescued by his younger brother despite his frequent efforts to bring about his demise.  Upon learning of his younger brother’s efforts to save his life, Oliver makes a dramatic change for good.  Later, Oliver is asked by an individual if he was the man who so frequently tried to kill his younger brother.  Oliver replied, “’Twas I, but ‘tis not I.  I do not shame to tell you what I was, since my conversion so sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.” 

“’Twas I, but ‘tis not I” has helped me remember that simply because I have made mistakes in the past, I am not doomed to repeat these.  While I can’t change yesterday, I can choose to do well today. 

I hope for my clients, and for myself, that each of us can in our own way look back on our mistakes and say, ‘Twas I, but ‘tis not I.  

Krys Oyler, LCSW