Patience

With the New Year upon us, it is a time when many of us do a better job of looking within ourselves (something we clinicians refer to as “introspection”) and evaluating how we are doing in our lives.  For many this is a challenging and painful endeavor, however, from my perspective it is one of the most potentially joyous and growth evoking experiences we can have.  As one wise individual once put it:

“Many things we have to learn by that which we suffer, and knowledge secured in that way, though the process may be painful, will be of great value to us”

As I have tried to look within myself and determine the changes that will be of benefit to me in the long run, one adjustment continues to rear its ugly head; my need for increased patience in my life.  I far too often find in my life that when bitter circumstances arise, I simply become bitter.  When I look to determine the benefit of this bitterness, I find little to no value.  So my goal has become to find a way to endure bitterness patiently without becoming bitter. 

I’ve heard it said that in each person’s life there are “customized trials” such as illness, aloneness, persecution, betrayal, irony, poverty, unreciprocated love, etc.  However, if endured well these things “can be for our good and can greatly enlarge the soul, including an enlarged capacity for Joy.  Meek suffering often does the excavating necessary for that enlarging” –Maxwell

Quotes such as this give me some perspective and hope when it comes to life’s trials.  I find if I can see a reason for trials and suffering, I am also able to find the experience worth while on some level.  I also find I am better able to endure patiently those trials that come my way.

Hopefully each of us can find some aspect of ourselves we can improve this new year and in so doing become a healthier and happier person.  As I am striving to be the more patient person I want to be, who endures trials well without becoming bitter, I am reminded of a favorite poem: 

I walked a mile with pleasure

And she chattered all the way

But left me none the wiser

For all she had to say

I walked a mile with sorrow

And ne'er a word said she

But, Oh, the things I learned from her

When sorrow walked with me

If allowed, specifically by exercising patience, trials can be a painful, yet beneficial part of our lives.  I am hopeful each of us can find this to be true in our own lives and trials.

Krys Oyler, LCSW