As I have worked with families at Logan River, I have seen the issue of someone needing to be right come up often during family therapy sessions. Sometimes there is conflict between a child and a parent because both are set on being right. This typically leads to arguments and each individual trying to prove his or her point to get the other person to agree or yield. However, once this conflict starts, it can be hard for people to change their viewpoint and they often get locked into very rigid thinking. But what if that conversation could go differently and people realized that often the other person thinks they are right based different life experiences? I came across this picture the other day and I think it makes a good point.
Something I try to help the people I work with do is to go into conversations with other people with an attitude of trying to understand where they are coming from first before they try to prove their own point. When parents or children do this, they typically have more empathy and understanding for the other person. It doesn’t necessarily mean that there won’t be conflict or that people will change their minds, but typically it can help those conversations be more productive. If you find that you are often locked into arguments or conflicts with people, try to seek understanding of that other person and why they are thinking a certain way. You may be surprised that the conversation will go differently and be more positive.
Kristjana Green, LCSW